


Changes Everything Deleted Scene: August 4th, 1996, Hogwarts

by Maiasaura



Series: Changes Everything Universe [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Character of Color, Canon Queer Character, Canon Queer Character of Color, Drabble, Fluff, Other, Pansexual Character, female-agender relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 02:25:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5230340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiasaura/pseuds/Maiasaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My boyfriend was sad today so I wrote him some fluff (yes, he does in fact read and enjoy this story quite a bit). Takes place while the twelve are catching up on schoolwork and studying for their O.W.L.s. Maggie POV. </p><p>"Pick me up, oh, from the bottom<br/>Up to the top, love, everyday<br/>Pay no mind to taunts or advances<br/>I take my chances on everyday </p><p>Left to right<br/>Up and down, love<br/>I push up love, love everyday<br/>Jump in the mud, oh<br/>Get your hands dirty with<br/>Love it up on everyday </p><p>All you need is<br/>All you want is<br/>All you need is love.<br/>All you need is<br/>What you want is<br/>All you need is love."<br/>~ Dave Matthews Band, "Everyday."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Changes Everything Deleted Scene: August 4th, 1996, Hogwarts

"Maggie, I'm going to die," Neville groaned angrily, staring down at a sheet of complex arithmancy formulas, his brow furrowed in concentration.

"No you're not," I responded, though I was only half-listening, as I was focused myself on _memorizing every charm that had ever been created ever._

"Yeah I am," he insisted, looking at me desperately. He had finally trimmed his beard and cut his hair back to his shoulders, which I honestly still wasn't used to. He had turned into Bigfoot for literally months, after all. I reached out and gently stroked his hair behind his ear.

"You're not. You survived Umbridge, and being on the run, and whatever the hell that spell was," I swallowed heavily, trying to not think of him dead in any capacity, "And you can survive exams."

Neville nodded, but I could see how tired he was in his eyes. Every cell on his face was etched into an expression of sheer exhaustion. I reached along the table to gently kiss every inch of his face, trailing my lips from his forehead, down to his cheeks, across his nose, and even along his eyes. Especially along his tired, tired eyes.

Neville couldn't help but giggle as I did this, and I smiled at the sound.

"Thank you," he smiled, laughing and pulling me closer to him, scooting my chair loudly across the floor.

"Neville!" I shouted in protest, "We're supposed to be studying!"

"I need a break," he responded urgently, and I could tell that he really did, just from his face. I pulled him into my arms and kissed him lightly on the ear, and he sighed happily.

"I just want to live with you in the flat and not worry about anything," he confessed, looking over at me sadly.

"I know," I sighed, "I'm sorry we have to do this."

"It's okay. If it means we get to be professors together, then I'm alright with it," he nodded firmly.

 _How can you even begin to think of the future?_ I thought in amazement, but I pushed the thought from my brain. I knew he needed to talk about these things. He had started waking up in the middle of the night screaming, just like I did; but he was usually calmed pretty quickly when he saw my chest moving as I breathed.

 _Don't think about it,_ I urged myself. I usually did this when these thoughts came. Just this morning, I had seen Elena crying in the corridors; I had urged myself to not think about my parents. I couldn't afford to think about any of it.

"And hey, just think: our N.E.W.T.s could not possibly be harder than this!" I reassured quickly, knowing my silence must have been worrying.

"Oh god what if something happens and we have to take them in a rush again?" Neville groaned.

"Let's... let's not assume that'll happen," I swallowed heavily.

"I don't want a lot in this world," he moaned, holding his face in his hands. I sighed and looked at my watch. It was nearly midnight. No wonder he was so tired.

"Let's go to bed, Nev, come on," I soothed, reaching and kissing the back of his hand. He nodded, getting up and leaving his books on the table. We always did this now. Not like anyone was around to steal our things or anything.

He didn't even change for sleep, just crawled into the bed and stuffed his face in the pillow. I giggled at him and quickly changed into my pjs before dragging him out of the bed to do the same.

"Maaaaags," he groaned irritably, clearly displeased I had removed him from the bed. I laughed and helped him out of his clothing lovingly, him all the while basically napping on top of my head, resting his against my hair.

"Your hair is so soft and shiny," he mumbled sleepily.

"You're silly," I laughed.

"No 'm not," He responded defensively as I finally managed to help him into his pajama pants.

"Come on love," I giggled, "You need sleep."

"I need cuddles," he stated, beaming at me and nuzzling his face against mine.

"You were just trying to sleep in the bed!" I shouted in amazement, but I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear as he wrapped me up tightly his arms, enveloping me in them - and given how he was a tall, larger person, they wrapped more than all the way around me. It was the most comforting feeling in the world, and I couldn't say no to it.

"And then you ran your hands all over me and I'm too sleepy to do anything more but I want to hold you," Neville mumbled, his lips next to my ear.

"Oh alright," I smiled at him and he pressed his lips lovingly to mine, still holding me up as close to him as possible. He then, probably out of a mixture of both exhaustion and affection, collapsed dramatically onto the bed, pulling me with him and on top of him.

"Nev!" I laughed.

"You're so small," he murmured affectionately, scooting backwards onto the bed and pulling me with him so we were fully on it.

"I am not !" I protested.

"You're very short," he reminded, kissing the top of my head.

"I am not! I am average height!" I practically shouted.

"You're a foot shorter than me!" he insisted, grinning, "And even though we're both kind of chubby people, I am more so than you. Plus you're muscular and you actually enjoy running."

"Only since I started becoming a dragon. I hated it before then. Boobs bouncing everywhere," I grumbled.

"It's a nice sight," he said fondly. I flicked him in the face lightly and he giggled.

"What? It is! I can't help but enjoy it," he protested.

"You're ridiculous," I shook my head, but I was smiling despite myself, "But yes, I'll give you that I am a smaller individual than you are. Though my hips are plenty wide and thus my widest point and your widest point are the same," I beamed.

"You just then narrow up and then expand again while I remain expanded," Neville chuckled.

"It's called different sexual hormone expression," I snorted. "Point remains that you are small compared to me," Neville beamed at me. I rolled my eyes again but rested my head in the crook of his neck. He had a point in that my entire torso fit on top of his and I wasn't hanging off of him at all, my legs started on top of his torso, and they did not extend far down his legs.

Still...

"I'm not as small as Hermione," I stated after a minute of rest.

"No, but Hermione is practically a dwarf," Neville chortled.

"Oh Merlin, do not let her hear you say that," I groaned.

"Oh I'd never. I don't have a death wish," Neville chuckled.

"She really is a tiny ball of fury though," I grinned.

"Her hair is like, half her weight!" Neville beamed.

"How can she be so short and so skinny at the same time?" I sniggered, "And she eats like a normal person!"

"More than a normal person when she's studying, have you noticed that? Lately she's been eating quite a bit because of all the work, she has even talked with her mouth full! Ron was so pissed because of how much she yells at him for doing that," Neville was laughing harder than I had ever seen him laugh.

"Oh yes, I've noticed. And she's put on some weight from it, but for the love, she's still much too small for how much she eats," I shook my head in bemusement.

"The weight she's put on has been pretty much boobs only, too. How is that fair for anyone?" Neville rolled his eyes.

"I bet she hasn't even noticed," I laughed.

"She's a one-track mind person," Neville agreed.

"Well, I admire her for that. She's probably studying right now as we speak," I rolled my eyes.

"She needs to get sleep!" Neville protested.

"So do you! We start at nine tomorrow!" I grinned.

"I like staring into your eyes," he murmured softly. I smiled lovingly at him and kissed his nose. "

Well you can do that any time. You can only sleep now," I urged softly.

"But right now I have you on top of me, and you're so close it's intoxicating, and your eyes are so close I am lost in them, they're so green," Neville insisted, reaching up and tucking my hair lovingly behind my ear.

"Just like Harry's," I reminded, "And Elena's."

"So?" Neville shrugged, "They're so bright and they contrast with your skin. And your skin is so brown, it's like... it's like they're the first leaves on a tree as spring begins. They're the first signs of growth after winter. They're the beginning of warmth and growth and new life."

"They're eyes," I protested, feeling a blush creep up to my cheeks in embarrassment.

"Let me be poetic," he laughed.

"But they are!"

"To me they are the first leaves in spring. Surely you have some sort of cheesy poetic thought about my eyes, you just aren't saying it because you get embarrassed by it more than I do," he smiled slightly.

"I..." I flushed heavily.

"Okay now you have to tell me," Neville grinned.

"They're chocolate," I mumbled, burying my face in his neck.

"My eyes are no more chocolate than yours are leaves," Neville laughed.

"Fine, you win," I grunted in annoyance. He pulled my face out from his neck and lightly kissed my lips in reassurance.

"You can be as cheesy or not with me, I don't care," Neville smiled widely as I pulled back, his eyes lit up with joy.

"I don't mind being _physically_ cheesy," I smiled slightly, resting my head on his chest and sighing happily, "I mean, we can be as ridiculously affectionate in public as we want."

"I know," he chuckled, "Wonder why you get bothered by words then?"

"I honestly have no idea," I confessed, "There's just something fundamentally different with me and words."

"Well that's okay," Neville smiled, "Doesn't matter to me."

"You sure?" I asked feebly, suddenly feeling somewhat nervous and inadequate. After all, I wasn't able to do everything he wanted to do, not to the extent that he did at any rate.

"Of course!" Neville looked shocked, "I love _you_ , and I've always known words aren't how you express how you feel about others. It's always been about physical affection."

I nodded, smiling slightly at that.

"Remember when I kissed you on the cheek in fourth year?" I asked softly.

"I was _so_ confused," Neville laughed.

"I'm sorry," I grinned.

"I was just like, what in the hell? she's with George? What is happening?" Neville shook his head in bemusement, "I thought you were just trying to be nice. I should have known better. But at that point I was used to you not feeling the same way about me, and your affection shown towards me being purely platonic..."

"I mean, I _thought_ it was platonic, until Christmas happened and I realized I was an idiot," I grinned, "Like. When Hermione and I cuddle, that's platonic. With you it's always been different."

Neville was crying a little and I kissed his tears away rapidly, unable to see them for more than a millisecond.

"I'm sorry I wasted so much of our time," I whispered.

"You didn't," Neville shook his head frantically, "Maggie, you realize we got together when we were fifteen, right? Well, you sixteen. That's not wasting time."

"It is if we die young," I managed to say, swallowing heavily.

"Well then we better not die young," Neville smiled sadly, "And at any rate, I'd rather have you, knowing what you want and who you are and being able to love me as fully as we have to, than some younger version of you, who doesn't know how to handle these emotions."

"You're right," I acknowledged, "I'll even admit that part of the reason I didn't leave George... besides, you know, everything... was probably because I was so overwhelmed with how I felt for you."

"It is very overwhelming," Neville nodded rapidly, now lovingly stroking my hair, "I don't... I don't think I really realized what it meant until I found you on that roof."

"Oh?" I asked, looking at him curiously.

"I mean I had known I'd loved you since I was eleven," Neville paused, "But it's hard for a kid to wrap their mind around that. I think I just accepted the fact of it and didn't delve too much into waht it actually meant. I did sometimes... and it always scared me, but it was hard to admit that to myself when I wanted to be with you as bad as I did. Like when you nearly died on the chess set... I was so overwhelmed with fear and I don't think I really knew how to process it. And in the Chamber... or even when you went to Aragog... I never really understood _how_ afraid I was to lose you or how tied my heart was to you. Honestly I think the only normal part of how I feel about you was when I got jealous of George third year. Fourth year I started to wrap my mind around it... but even then... I think it took something as serious as your PTSD and all it lead to for me to finally force myself to grapple with it," Neville admitted.

I nodded, looking at him sadly.

"I realized that what I felt for you was strong, too strong for me to just delve into lightly. Taking care of you was exhausitng. I was happy to do it, but I was exhausted. I knew that if we started being together then I would be too overwhelmed to do it right. I knew it would take every ounce of energy i had left. And yes, being with you is relaxing and perfect and right, but it also is overwhelming, and when you were so frail and fragile, neither of us could handle it," Neville paused, looking at me in worry.

"You're completely right," I agreed, smiling at him in reassurance.

"And so then that whole first term I just... I knew with Umbridge that it still wasn't right. It would still be too much. But it was hard to avoid how I felt about you... and how I was realizing you felt about me... when I knew, no matter how overwhelming, it still would help us get through what was happening to us, in some form..." Neville sighed, "It was hard to make that leap."

"Luckily, circumstances made the leap for us," I grinned.

"You have no idea how glad I am that you came to the ward," Neville nodded rapidly, "I mean, at the time I was terrified beyond belief, but in retrospect, very glad."

"I'm sorry I surprised you. I really didn't mean to," I reassured.

"It's really okay. I shouldn't have kept it from you so long," Neville paused, "And honestly, I think you being there reminded me that Hermione said you needed to know this before anything could happen... and I think I was half terrified of those feelings and how overwhelming they were and what this would all mean..."

"I was scared too," I nodded, "But I didn't want to wait any longer."

"Well, we are Gryffindors," Neville smiled lovingly at me, "We never shy away from anything scary."

"And I'm glad we didn't," I kissed him softly, looking over at the clock. It was nearly one in the morning now, but I didn't want to go to sleep.

Neville's eyes, however, were drooping. I couldn't blame him much. It had been another horrific day of studying and we needed sleep. But I was comfortable laying on top of him, and I felt so safe and happy there, that I was loath to move. He gently stroked my back with his hands, his lips pressed against the top of my head as I laid it on his chest.

"I never want to leave this moment," I whispered softly. He kissed my head again, and I closed my eyes in contentment.

"I'm okay with leaving it, if only for the promise of newer and better moments," he responded. I looked up at him and he was smiling lovingly at me, and I flushed madly at the sight.

"How can we count on that?" I whispered, trying to not let fear enter my voice and failing miserably.

"We have to, or else we won't get through it," Neville responded firmly.

 _You're too much of an optimist_ , I thought to myself, but I knew that it was too late to start this discussion. And he probably was right anyway. My pessimism had already lead me down disastrous roads. Better to convince myself it would be okay. I stared into his chocolate eyes, and I found myself able to convince some part of me of this anyway, because he made everything okay.

"Nev?" I murmured after we had stared at each other for probably too long, feeling my eyes droop and my body relax horrifically.

"Yeah, Mags?" he asked, his voice very sleepy, his eyes droopy and affectionate.

"Can I sleep like this?" I asked softly, loath to move away from him.

"Of course," he responded instantly, "I don't mind."

I smiled at him and rested more fully, nuzzling up against him in a more comfortable position and closing my eyes.

"I love you," I whispered softly, reaching out and holding his hand in mine lovingly.

"I love you," he responded, and I fell asleep feeling him stroke my back and hair lovingly and rhythmically, soothed by the repetitive motion as the sound of his heart lulled me to rest.

**Author's Note:**

> I was doing science and Max was sad soooooo... this happened? I know it's short but in my defense I wrote it in between phases of my experiment (phases are anywhere from 5 minutes to 25 minutes long so I had lots of short, frequent breaks to write in). Trust me, most deleted scenes will NOT be Maggie POV. Her story is in CE. 
> 
> I suppose it does highlight where Maggie's current mental state has originated from, and it also shows how far she's come in her PTSD just to talk about a future with Neville. So there's that! Plus fluff is always great. 
> 
> I'll try to write another chapter for the end of this week, this just a crazy week for me. I have an exam and a lot of grading to do. Plus Mockingjay Part 2 comes out Friday and I'm so excited and yet so sad that it's almost over. My emotions, guys. My emotions. 
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think! Seriously!


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